When you mess up, stop and sit yourself down. I mean this literally. Sit yourself down, and learn to dwell in the uneasiness of the confusion of the moment. I find myself running, physically and mentally, from place to place, from action to action. Often this is not due to a busy schedule, but to the fear of sitting down and feeling what’s happening in this moment. There is nowhere to run. Eventually, we all need to sit with ourselves and face the demons that are rising from our psyche. We all do it so keep courage. You are not alone.
Forgiveness can start with being able to sit and give your life a good look. Forgiveness is about accepting what is going on right now. It may not be perfect or even good but it’s where you are at. If you can’t accept where you are at right now – with all the guilt, the fears, the imperfection – you can’t change it. You may think that running around will bring about change but, if you look closely, only the external circumstances change, not the real issue. The real issue requires silence and patience to be seen and heard. It requires forgiveness.
Acceptance is often uncomfortable, scary, ugly, smelly. We’d rather get busy and forget about it but at some point, you can’t run anymore. So sit in that place. Be strong. Eventually, as you calm yourself down, the lotus of your awareness will bloom from the mud of your mistakes and you can take a baby step into evolution.
What else are you really looking for?